Editorial

Mission Rich: The Rich Energy Conspiracy Australian Edition

July 17, 2019

Since the new sponsor announcement with the Haas F1 Team, the world has managed to not go crazy over the new-to-market Rich Energy drink.

With smaller Rich sponsorships popping up all over the place, a number of sceptical F1 fans around social media have questioned the reality of this fabled, mystical drink.

This is my mission: Find and consume a can of Rich Energy.

I can’t buy it directly from the website, I need to find somewhere in Australia that stocks it, and get it from them.

Day 1

Turned to Reddit, as you do, and it turns out there is a painted van getting around Brisbane.

This is from the Rich Twitter account, back in August 2018. They’ve been here a while, quietly.

Still, I’m from Melbourne so it’s not like I can flag this down in the street and rob them of their juicy juicy nectar of the gods.

I sent a message to Rich Energy via Facebook simply saying: Where can I buy your zesty beverages in Melbourne? I will await a response.

Day 2.

Still yet to hear from Rich Energy, they seem to be dodging my question, maybe they know I’m onto them.

Who is this mystery company, Red Bull in disguise? A front for the Norwegian Mafia?

Well, hold onto you berets because two crates of Rich were spotted with everyone’s favourite Tweeter, Big Phil.

Is he a customer? Is he in on the ploy? We’ll never know.

I had to revive a Twitter account I hadn’t used in 8 years for all this “investigative journalism” I’m doing, just so I could send Big Phil a little message about his experience with the consumption of the alleged product.

In the meantime, rich energy owner appears to be taunting the Haas F1 team after their embarrassing start to the British GP over the weekend. While leaving me on read in messenger with no reply. In investigative journalism language that means: I reached out to a representative of Rich Energy and they declined to comment.

Day 3

It’s done. They knew I was onto them, right on their doorstep. UK government documents secured by motorsport.com show that the bearded behemoth CEO of Rich Energy, William Storey has split from the brand. The brand, now renamed Lightning Volt to hide their tracks after I started sniffing around is yet to make an official announcement.

Storey has taken to Twitter in with another crazy reason as to why he sold his stake. However, as Reddit user, r/AimHere states it has likely gone to an unlicensed insolvency company in order to funnel any money back to the maniac CEO.

Anyway.

That’s my mission coming to a bitter end.

I’m out.

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